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The TSS April Fools' Joke
This was originally going to be 2007's April Fool's joke, but let's be real: my memory doesn't last that long.
Today, Sun, IBM, and Microsoft announced that the web was actually a bit of a joke people took seriously, and they perpetuated the hilarity on the assumption that competitors such as BEA would see through the smoke and mirrors. Geert Bevin, author of RIFE, fumed that the Big Three were stealing his thunder, saying, "I thought I had the corner on obscure and useless frameworks designed to waste people's time... only to be scooped by IBM again! By the way... RIFE has that. Whatever it is."
Roy T. Fielding declared that he would sue, since he apparently based his dissertation on a crappy idea. Dion Almaer disclosed that his AJAX advocacy was paid for by Microsoft as part of the ruse, but still insisted that AJAX was a great idea, and that his consulting and education services should be in demand. "People are slow," he explained.
3Com Corporation's reaction was fiery, saying that it was obvious they'd had the right idea all along, and that they really, really resented being more or less shunted out of the limelight for a single TCP/IP port. "Or, well, five or six, we guess."
When asked for comment, Marc Fluery replied, "So I really am talking out my ass? Whoops. Sorry, folks." Gavin King, a JBoss employee, indicated his intense hope that relational databases weren't another aspect of the ruse, and indicated that CODASYL and Prevayler support was coming for Hibernate 4.0, "any day now. Really. We've been working on this for years now. Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure."
Hani Suleiman issued a statement on behalf of the JCP: "After unwrapping my fingers from various genitalia, I have to say that this is sort of what I meant all along, even though those asshats caught me by surprise. By the way, poop." Floyd Marinescu, founder of the popular Javalobby site, said he had discovered that Java was actually not a scripting language.
Sorry, folks. Looks like we'll actually have to be productive now.